For the past silver years, life has been so unkind to me. It has always been showering me --- no, pouring me --- with hatred, agony, failures, and demises.
Since I was young, I never felt really liked. I felt like all the universes had transpired to fashion a formula to transport me to a hell-like-ride of living with precious unwanted creatures.
There are people who would always tell us how wicked we are. There would always be people who would struggle hard to pull us down under their sleeves. There would be some who would remind us how undeserving we are of where we are, what we are, and how well we could be. Nevertheless, no one would ever truly care of how we are for at least at the moment.
I am oftentimes misunderstood because I don’t talk much. I hate explaining myself every time I am faced with issues unworthy of my time. I am not fond of settling into unhealthy conversations. It was nuts.
It had all changed when I met you.
It was a gloomy Friday afternoon when I saw an angel sent from all good heavens. It was your aura that captivated and roused all my senses and my heart that had almost died. I knew exactly that it would change my life forever. I was so sure what I wanted to happen. It was you that I sought to spend the rest of my life and even beyond it.
I devised a plan, and from then on, life had been favorable to me. It just felt like everything was falling in its perfect fit.
In no time, you got wrapped into my arms; you let me be part of your indispensable mission of life’s struggles and challenges. You let me in. You let yourself be mine.
There wasn’t a dull moment. There wasn’t an instance that I thought of any difficulty. It felt like a paradise every time you’re by my side. You might have been the most sensitive and most short-tempered person I’d known; you might have been war freak and troublemaker, but these caused all the best excitements. You had made me the happiest person this world has ever carried. You’re one-of-a-kind. You’re simply divine.
Everything seemed seamless until a misfortune came to life.
While I was at work, I received a call from you. It sounded like the most devastating news ever. You told me you’re confined, and you’re badly sick… I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what might happen. I was down on my knees.
Right after work, I rushed to the hospital to see you. Then I learned that you were hiding me your condition for months. I felt stupid. I felt disheartened. I felt distressed. I felt hopeless --- it was hopeless.
On your second day at the hospital, you pushed me away. You wanted me out of your room. You wanted me out. You were crying while my heart was breaking. You were shouting while my ears were deaf of all your pain.
Your last few words were resounding while I was on my way home --- “I don’t want you here; it’s harder for me that you see me suffering because I suffer more. I don’t want you to see me like this. I love you so much, and I don’t want you to share with me this misery.”
It broke my heart. It crushed me into pieces.
I perished first.
I couldn’t do anything about it. I was forced to stop seeing you. I was forced to cling to that melancholy alone. I had to continue with my life, carrying a baggage of countless possibilities.
After a few weeks, my world turned around. It was a phone call from your sister telling me you had given up. You left us in desolation. I was devastated. I was shattered.
You’re gone now. But like what I was always telling you, you are my best relationship, and you would always be. I might be alone now, but your reminiscences would always linger. All your memories would be kept to my heart. Everything about you is a treasure I ought to preserve. This heart would always be yours to keep.
Yes. I used to be misunderstood because I didn’t talk much, but my silence had widened our realm of understanding. I was never fond of nonsensical conversations, but you comprehend words more than their senses and core. It was wacky.
Yes. There were people who saw me wicked, but you’d always seen the purity and compassion in me. There were people who had tried to pull me down, but you pushed me to rise above all of them. There were people who would tell me how undeserving I was, but you made me realize how fortunate and how candid I was. Thus, you cared a lot for me, all the time.
Yes. I never felt really liked; I felt genuinely loved by you. I mugged up that all the universes and galaxies had transpired to concoct a system for me to meet the most precious creation of God.
It wasn’t even a year, but it felt like forever. It showered me all the blessings, grasps, and all the paramount in life. Life had been very kind to me.