A Reaction Paper on Grief and Ambiguous Loss written as a partial requirement in Assessment and Initial Intervention of Individual and Relationship Disorders Course for Professional Diploma in Family Ministries at Ruben M. Tanseco, SJ Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM), Ateneo de Manila University
Introduction and Statement of the Topic
My father got a stroke in February 2018. According to his doctor, he had multiple strokes before this stroke had happened. His right brain was affected, which paralyzed the left side of his body. He had a series of therapy sessions, but unfortunately did not work for him. I took charge of his wellness during his illness, although my siblings also had their fair share in caring for my father. I observed that his mental acuity was affected, and there were instances when he hallucinated. From the time he got a stroke, everything changed. He was usually irritated and blurted out words to us, his children. Caregivers stayed for only one to two months because they could not bear my father's temperament, so we had to look for their replacement. I was also confused then because there were instances when my father was in his senses but suddenly shifted to a different person. I experienced tremendous stress during this time as I carried my father's suffering, and my effort seemed insufficient to relieve him.
When my father died, I witnessed almost everyone crying out loud except me during his funeral. Of course, there were unspoken words among us, his children, and I knew that when my father died, we were all relieved. After my father's death, I tried to dig deeper into myself because what I felt was different when my mother and pets died. For instance, after my mother's death, I cried because I missed her, and so did my pets. I also do things that remind me of my mother, and in the case of my pets, I advocate for animal wellness. However, when my father died, there was confusion about what I felt exactly.
see PDF attachment for more information