Dark clouds angrily roars above. Strong wind blow me heavily. Left-open doors of some classrooms slam loudly. Trees sway hardly as if it will fell and be blown away anytime. I’m standing now at the centre of our school ground with heavy heart. I can feel the coldness of the surrounding covering my whole being. Tears started to fell from my eyes. After the first teardrop comes the first fall of raindrop. The roaring dark clouds are now pouring me its anger. I can feel the heaviness of the rainfall that shivers my whole body. Tears from my eyes are falling as heavy as the rain. I shouted loudly and fell on my knees. No one is around. No one is around except the person I’m looking right now, watching him walk away from me and leave my life permanently. The person whom I loved so much but chose to broke my heart.
As I get in school the next morning, an unexpected and surprising scenario welcomed me. I felt hurt and broke of what I saw. David is joyfully talking and laughing with her childhood best friend, Dorothea. It looks like something never happened between us and now his happy with his best friend. “Hi Tara”, Dorothea greeted me. “Hi”, I smiled and continued walking. I felt it was the worst day I ever had. I’m out of focus.
Upon going home, I opened the mailbox expecting a letter from a company my father applied last month. Surprisingly, I have seen a note saying, “Every day is a fresh new start, and you’ll never be able to find happiness if you don’t move on. To: Tara” A strange feeling overwhelmed me after reading the note. I don’t know who is the person behind this meaningful strange note. However, I just considered it as a sign that I should start moving on from my past. But deep inside, I believe that I can’t still forget all the memories we had. I immediately get inside and posted the note on the wall of my room.
On the other day, as I leave our house for school, I checked the mailbox expecting another note from a mysterious person. And yes, another note was delivered in the mailbox. “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go,” words of Herman Hesse, To: Tara.” This note stabbed my heart so deep. I realized that I can’t still let go of the man I loved for a long time and whom I shared the ups and downs of my life, David. I see him very happy in school together with Dorothea, and it made me felt so hurt and worthless. I believed that he already moved on. Actions will always speak the loudest than words.
Every morning gives me new hope and a lot of reasons that one day I will move on of what’s behind me. All the tears, broken hearts, depression, suicidal thoughts and sleepless nights. And one of these reasons are the notes I received every day from a person I do not know. Sometimes, I thought that the person who sends me those letters every day is a secret admirer of mine who helps me to move on from David. The first and second notes are followed by eight more notes on the following days. On the eleventh day…
A sweet and lovely song woke me up the next morning. A very familiar and valued song of mine coming from my phone. “'Cause all of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections.” It’s November 11, 2011, the supposedly 11th Monthsary of David and I. The wounds are still fresh, every memories we had in a year and a month are just blown away in just a single second. I am very vulnerable right now, I can’t help but cry. I’m drowning on my own tears every night, I’m always weak as I am. I don’t even know why he left me without any certain acceptable reason. All I just believed is that he doesn’t loved me anymore.
As I get down to go to school, a song from the radio hit my heart so hard. “Never mind I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don't forget me I beg, I'll remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.” Words of wisdom from the lady named Adele saying that I should move on from David because there is someone better than him. As usual, I visited our mail box for a note I’ve used to wait and read every day. Expecting that these notes will somehow help me to permanently move on. As I open the box, I’m surprised that there is no note delivered today. It’s already 10:45 AM, I’m already late for my first subject. Nevertheless, I just continued to get in school that day thinking that the person behind those notes is late that’s why he doesn’t delivered the note at the time he used to send it.
“Tara! Tara!” Dorothea welcomed me with eyes full of tears. She embraced me tightly like she wants to comfort me for something terrible happened. “I have something to tell you,” she said with a broken tone. I’m struck on the place where I am standing right now. My heart beats fast, my whole body was shivering. I can’t hear anything but the words coming from her. “It was David!” “It was David who sent you those notes. It was his plan to help you move on from him. He broke up with you for a reason, he doesn’t want you to be hurt by knowing the truth!”. “What are you saying? What truth are you saying?” I said with my tears flowing out of confusion. “He told me to keep this as a secret and tell you at his last day.” “Last day?!” I burst out in tears. “He have a disease, and now is his last day.” “Where is he now?!” my tone get higher and louder. “At the hospital”.
I don’t want to miss any single second, I want to tell David that I love Him so much even in the last second of his life. Dark clouds angrily roars above. Strong wind blows me heavily. Trees sway hardly as it will fell and be blown away anytime. I’m running now through the streets with heavy heart not bearing in mind of being hit by the vehicles passing by. I can feel the coldness of the surrounding covering my whole being. Tears started to fell again from my eyes. After the first teardrop comes the first fall of raindrop. The roaring dark clouds are now pouring me its anger. I can feel the heaviness of the rainfall that shivers my whole body. Tears from my eyes are falling as heavy as the rain. It feels like the day when David lied to leave me because he doesn’t love me anymore. I run faster until I get inside the hospital and reach closer the operating room hoping that I can still say and make David feel how much I love him. My hopes faded away as I heard the doctor and nurses. “Hurry! Hurry! Clear! Clear!” I am at the front of the operating room, very weary. The doctors and nurses came out and say, “We’re sorry, we did our best. Time of Death: 11:11 AM.” I immediately get inside the operating room and embraced the dead body of the man who made me feel that I deserve to be loved and valued. I’ve seen a letter on his hand, “11th Note: Happy 11th Monthsary Babe, I love you and I always will.” I shouted loudly and fell on my knees. No one is around. No one is around except the person I’m looking right now, watching him walk away from me and leave my life permanently. The person whom I loved so much but chose to broke my heart.
11th Note on our 11th Monthsary, November 11, 2011. All the love and memories had ended at 11:11 AM but will be forever kept in my heart.